Honestly? I'm not even going to apologise for the lack of updates anymore. Considering that this is the unknown number of times that I have been saying "sorry for the lack of updates!" just make me seem like an irresponsible asshole who clearly does not know her priorities. ANYWAYS, hello there. I don't think anyone actually reads this blog anymore and that's sad. I used to pride myself on keeping this blog as alivee as I can in hopes that someone would spend at least 5 minutes out their hectic scheduel to read some 14 year's old blog and her pathetic teenage journey. Now that I think about it, it's no wonder no one reads this thing. It's not really a big deal, but still. These are memories that I choose to share with the internet. The least someone could do was to actually just adknowlegde it. Maybe give a "+1" even. Thus, nothing really drastic is going to happen with this thinnng even after this short and suddden update. My last post was actually a year ago, well nearly. And at that time, I coudln't really remember how life was- oh wait, I do. How can i forget the attempts of self harm and major depression episodes that drove my mind more mental than it could comprehend? And not to forget all the drama of secondary 3 life; I mean come on. I was president, I was debate captain, I was a drama lead- the list is endless and they all point to me. An overworked girl who no one bothered to really ask if she was okay and actually wanted to do all those emcee jobs and stuff.
It's not that I'm bitter or cynical from the tone f this entry. It's just that I'm 16 now. I'm admittedly a little older from when I first started out this stupid idea of becoming famous from doing a blog. And for those who are thinking, "2 years? That's no big deal!", trust me it is. For alot has happened in those 2 years and I have aged tremendously. Well, mentally of course. Physically, I'm still the chubby girl I am that no one wants to date. Can't blame them really. I'm a tyrant; loud, obnoxious beyond comprehend, a hot head who stands her ground and takes no fool's words as an answer and most importantly a debater. See, boys don't like girls like this. They prefer those quiet kinds, the kinds that don't say much and like to act cutesy and generally don't say much in the relationship. But for me? I don't really see myself doing that for a guy. Not right now at least. But still, I'm satisfied with me. It's what got me all my achievments and stature over these past two years. And I can proudly say that it's my weird nature that helped me become who I am right now.
AGAIN, not going to apologise for me rambling on about myself like the way I've been doing in all y past blogs. God, I really must be spineless back then. It feels like I'm reading some other girl's blog and not my own words. Repulsive. Alas, that was the old me. I shall promise myself not to become worst off than I already am- the facts. Still, I'm glad to have found friends and interests that benefit me rather than destroy me further. My 'O' levels are coming up in 3 weeks time and I actually just destroyed my right knee's ligament two days ago. It was my graduation ceremony actually. Amazing job, aisha. But God was kind to bless me with a Bootleg Beatles concert the weekend before so I actually had my fun and horrible dancing time just in time for my knee to bust itself. Now all i have to do is study, study, study! Urgh. But i'm not going to do that 24/7 of course. I'll go mad. I'm already going mad over the fact that I can't walk properly and do shit so that sucks balls. I'm just going to write away and think of how much I want 80's Paul McCartney to have his way with me throughout the night. That man is such a Silver Fox that whenever I see him I INSTANTLY sigh and go "Oh Daddy...". HAH, no shame. Seriously.
Should I mention my love of The Beatles and the ship McLennon or should I just leave you guys to go check out my other social media platforms instead and figure out just how much I love them? Cause this entry would turn into a 500 chapter essay on why I love them right down to the idiosyncrasies that I have come to notice and simply adore. Maybe even write about their wives and children, who knows? But i will not tortue my non-existent audience whom are probably not even beatles fan in the first place with my idiotic ramblings! Call me a saint if you shall, I find that fitting in this context.
Seeing as to how much I have written about my thoughts of the past, let me at least bless you with some current actual updates about myself. I'm still single-no surprise there, I had a major heartbreak earlier this year that has not really dissapeared till now, I bought a Penny Board just to impress my heart-breaker and now regretted it, art is so difficult please do not pursue unless completely sure, I didn't get into the law course that I wanted, I only had 3 major breakdowns this year(I AM SO PROUD), I improved in art so yay, I'm becoming fond of cigarettes, I had a major fight with my father and now we still aren't talking with each other and I'm trying out writing again after 9 months of abandoning fan fiction. That last point, hm, needs some elaboration. But you know what? I think I'll end it here. Because I have faith that my future self would know why I suck at writing, considering school and all.
I honestly don't know if I'll ever write in this blog again or if I'll be constantly updating it. I won't take it down; it has too many cute memories that I want to re visit one day when I feel bored or lonely. Cause I love reading my past; it keeps me grounded and allows me to go back to a time when being petty about the most daft things were okay. Perhaps I'll chance upon it next year, around the same time perhaps? It would be nice. I wonder how much of my life has changed from now till then? Would I become better and succeed or become worse and fail? Either way, the future is a mystery waiting to explored and solved. I could be writing better fan fiction!! That would honestly be lit as fuck. You know, I realised something. I don't usually swear alot in this blog, neither do I when I post something online. Yet I do it alot in real life. Hm, wonder why?
-
Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed reading this. Cause I know I have. A blast from the past, i would say. Also, this entry is defintely better done than my other entries- the broken english, the stupid emoji faces, my slangs from 2014 to 2015 dear god how ghastly. I humbly apologise for putting you lot through such torture of reading poor and mediocre writing. I'm not saying I'm wonderful at it now, but at least it's a tad bit better than before and that's all that matters. I wish I could just spend my early morning telling you guys more about my year but I don't seem to have much to say really. Crushes? Studies? Life? It's so cliche. Ah, speaking of which, I have learnt some french over the months. But I still suck at it so, meh. I'll really learn it some day for sure.
Till the next time I write here, remember to always stay hydrated!
xx
aisha
Saturday, 1 October 2016
Sunday, 8 November 2015
LONG OVERDUE UPDATE?!
HELLO FAM yes it has been approximately 9000 years since I last updated my blog. I was just kind of going through old book marks when i stumbled upon my blog. Keeping a blog is hard for me now, considering that I am busy as fuck. But it is nice once in a while when I am bored and looking around that I update something dear to me in the past. What can I tell you guys? I'm still single, happy with my life because of how my new Family has made me feel okay and alive again (fandomsđź‘‹) , urh my love for Jared Padalecki can and will never be questioned and um Destiel and other ships including Wincest has taken over my life! I am a lowkey fic writter, secretly still loving smut (lol no I make it so obvious im done with myself) and yeah that's about it.
negative things also comes along with this, such as my depression, anxiety, paranoia, suicidal thoughts and so much more! But even though this drags me down alot of times in my daily life, I can't really allow it to drag me down you know? So many responsibilities to face that just thinking of shutting down seems impossible. Though, there are people helping. And by people i mean Jared ♡. I love that man so much God knows. Besides my mum and my true friends (yeet @ that) , he plays a really big role in my life. That campaign #AlwaysKeepFighting done by him has really helped many people like me you know? Bless that cutie patootie bun buns.
Hmmm what else? Failed relationships? Yeah... i really seem to be on a "single-fo-life" roll here it seems. Just to think that I really thought i could find some sort of friend or something turned out to be a failed plan altogether *keeps on sadly sketching the Baes*. No surprise here ayy?
But my nose and 8 ear studs can affirm you that I'm still that rebelious kid I am who literally just wants to live in her own world and crushes on her teachers still.
Till the next long update, do enjoy this pic (idk if gifs works lmao) of Cockles and Jared because yes xx
negative things also comes along with this, such as my depression, anxiety, paranoia, suicidal thoughts and so much more! But even though this drags me down alot of times in my daily life, I can't really allow it to drag me down you know? So many responsibilities to face that just thinking of shutting down seems impossible. Though, there are people helping. And by people i mean Jared ♡. I love that man so much God knows. Besides my mum and my true friends (yeet @ that) , he plays a really big role in my life. That campaign #AlwaysKeepFighting done by him has really helped many people like me you know? Bless that cutie patootie bun buns.
Hmmm what else? Failed relationships? Yeah... i really seem to be on a "single-fo-life" roll here it seems. Just to think that I really thought i could find some sort of friend or something turned out to be a failed plan altogether *keeps on sadly sketching the Baes*. No surprise here ayy?
But my nose and 8 ear studs can affirm you that I'm still that rebelious kid I am who literally just wants to live in her own world and crushes on her teachers still.
Till the next long update, do enjoy this pic (idk if gifs works lmao) of Cockles and Jared because yes xx
Sunday, 26 October 2014
Say Whut
Hello to all the fellow comrades who read my blog, I am blessed that you people actually come visit here like really it makes me happy to know people actually read what I post.
But enough of my self um I don't even know what it is called but yes, we shall continue on with updates per usual. I tend to think like this is a diary or a to-do list or some monologuing area where you people get to read what's going on currently, you know? And I'm cool with that, I mean, that's why I have this blog. So that when you feel the urge to read someone's diary, you can just read this blog :) YAY the benefits we gain! Right, moving on...
It would seem that I am leaving SINGAPORE( yes, my homeland) for India, Chennai, on the 9th of November. Now most people would probably wonder for those who has not travelled before,
"What are the interesting things there?"
I mean, come on, we all wanna shop. Like really, things are cheap, good, vintage, modern, heck you got all the mixtures of style and culture there. Food wise? Ehh...that one you gotta watch out. I'm not being mean, I love Indian food, but to eat it for 8 days in a row? I don't think so...
Also, the people who I'm going there with are my school mates, so in terms of.. a holiday? No. Learning trip? Yes. But some people(not gonna say who...) are not on my nice side list. So if I were to sit with them on the plane...well...be prepared to read some report that a student was thrown off the plane by 'mistake' or 'accident' . HAHAHAHAHAH. *coughs* moving on...
I got all the things that I need already, like the necessities. Also, a little extras so that I don't go insane whilst on my trip. This is because, my good people who have been here long enough or know me, that I will be separated from my laptop for 8 BLOODY FUCKING DAYS. That, that is pure form of FUCKING TORTURE. Yes some of you may say, you have your phone. BUTT!(huehuehuehue) , but, it's not the same. Some people might know what I'm talking about , okay. It's Just.Not.The.Same. Regardless, i need to get my essentials or what I would like to call it the "Fandom Emergency Kit" prepared briefly, make sure all instructions are correct and just..urgh.
Well.. until then... Today I went out( of course, by myself what else is new guys?) and headed over to Jem. Well it's a shopping centre for those who don't know what the hell that is. Wonderful brunch I had, and COFFEE at Starbucks(of course) and the dearest who accompanied me today was my Stephen King book, 'Mr Mercedes'. Ahh, that thriller suspense had me in raptures. Then, I spoiled myself to getting a membership at my favourite book store (privileged of course) and got my self a quote book from my classic loved author, Jane Austen :). *sighs* It was a nice day.
So here I am, wallowing in self pity because my twitter feed is FULL of people or Supernatural Fans tweeting on about #chiCon where J2 are there. Like, you people are lucky. Freaking Lucky that somewhat or rather, they are near you? People like me who are on the equator of the globe are well... not so lucky. Rephrase: Not Lucky At All. Conventions tend to happen on the other side of the world where most of the fans are. Because Asian countries are so... not into this things. #Sad
But I decided to get off twitter to prevent my self from crying( lol didn't work) and am going to watch some Youtube Videos because my Pewdiepie videos are screwing me up and I HATE refreshing every what, 5 seconds? Yea.
Well, this is a long update, I must say so myself. But heck, more things for you guys to read! Have some Destiel feels, it's on the house:)
-Aishaxx
But enough of my self um I don't even know what it is called but yes, we shall continue on with updates per usual. I tend to think like this is a diary or a to-do list or some monologuing area where you people get to read what's going on currently, you know? And I'm cool with that, I mean, that's why I have this blog. So that when you feel the urge to read someone's diary, you can just read this blog :) YAY the benefits we gain! Right, moving on...
It would seem that I am leaving SINGAPORE( yes, my homeland) for India, Chennai, on the 9th of November. Now most people would probably wonder for those who has not travelled before,
"What are the interesting things there?"
I mean, come on, we all wanna shop. Like really, things are cheap, good, vintage, modern, heck you got all the mixtures of style and culture there. Food wise? Ehh...that one you gotta watch out. I'm not being mean, I love Indian food, but to eat it for 8 days in a row? I don't think so...
Also, the people who I'm going there with are my school mates, so in terms of.. a holiday? No. Learning trip? Yes. But some people(not gonna say who...) are not on my nice side list. So if I were to sit with them on the plane...well...be prepared to read some report that a student was thrown off the plane by 'mistake' or 'accident' . HAHAHAHAHAH. *coughs* moving on...
I got all the things that I need already, like the necessities. Also, a little extras so that I don't go insane whilst on my trip. This is because, my good people who have been here long enough or know me, that I will be separated from my laptop for 8 BLOODY FUCKING DAYS. That, that is pure form of FUCKING TORTURE. Yes some of you may say, you have your phone. BUTT!(huehuehuehue) , but, it's not the same. Some people might know what I'm talking about , okay. It's Just.Not.The.Same. Regardless, i need to get my essentials or what I would like to call it the "Fandom Emergency Kit" prepared briefly, make sure all instructions are correct and just..urgh.
Well.. until then... Today I went out( of course, by myself what else is new guys?) and headed over to Jem. Well it's a shopping centre for those who don't know what the hell that is. Wonderful brunch I had, and COFFEE at Starbucks(of course) and the dearest who accompanied me today was my Stephen King book, 'Mr Mercedes'. Ahh, that thriller suspense had me in raptures. Then, I spoiled myself to getting a membership at my favourite book store (privileged of course) and got my self a quote book from my classic loved author, Jane Austen :). *sighs* It was a nice day.
So here I am, wallowing in self pity because my twitter feed is FULL of people or Supernatural Fans tweeting on about #chiCon where J2 are there. Like, you people are lucky. Freaking Lucky that somewhat or rather, they are near you? People like me who are on the equator of the globe are well... not so lucky. Rephrase: Not Lucky At All. Conventions tend to happen on the other side of the world where most of the fans are. Because Asian countries are so... not into this things. #Sad
But I decided to get off twitter to prevent my self from crying( lol didn't work) and am going to watch some Youtube Videos because my Pewdiepie videos are screwing me up and I HATE refreshing every what, 5 seconds? Yea.
Well, this is a long update, I must say so myself. But heck, more things for you guys to read! Have some Destiel feels, it's on the house:)
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
A freaking long time I never update
Ah shit you all probably hate me right now or actually no one pays any attention to this blog but what ever I will still type on any ways.
So hello! If some have been wandering what has been going on with my life recently, well, let's just say I have been fangirling a lot. Like seriously, A LOT. I don't even know where to begin, but let me assure you it hasn't gone that bad that I need to be admitted to an asylum ( yet). So far, my first fandom and ship still stays with me.
SHERLOCK BBC ONE FANDOM!
JOHNLOCK FOR LIFE YO!
Yea, you see? Still quite insane. But if you've been sticking around for a while now, you would have known that I am always this crazy.
Recently, I have been immersed into a NEW fandom. And that lucky fandom is.... SUPERNATURAL -plays music-
YES! Supernatural fandom, so those of you who are in that fandom and is reading this, HELLO!
Of course, since I ship practically every show I linger upon, I OF COURSE ship DESTIEL which is Castiel an Dean. I don't know how to feel about Wincest though, but I don't have anything against it so yay to that too!
But yes! Let me show you why I ship Destiel very hard( I even cried at one point, no joke yo)
Can you FUCKING see the way DEAN LOOKS AT CASTIEL'S LIPS?!?!?!?!?! Like please, Kiss already and make me happy for my entire life. Like please lah, don't hold back on me already! It's so canon it hurts yo!
Okay I am done.. urm... fangirling now. NOT!! But I guess this is an update for you guys so yayayayayayayya. Any ways, I Hope to update on this soon AGAIN so that I can share my feels with you guys!
ALSO IF YOU ARE PART OF ANY FANDOM OR/ AND IS A FANGIRL, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW THROUGH MY TWITTER OR TUMBLR OR EVEN COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW YOU AND LET'S BE FRIENDS. I AM NOT CREEPY , I PROMISE THIS! :)
Aishaxx
So hello! If some have been wandering what has been going on with my life recently, well, let's just say I have been fangirling a lot. Like seriously, A LOT. I don't even know where to begin, but let me assure you it hasn't gone that bad that I need to be admitted to an asylum ( yet). So far, my first fandom and ship still stays with me.
SHERLOCK BBC ONE FANDOM!
JOHNLOCK FOR LIFE YO!
Yea, you see? Still quite insane. But if you've been sticking around for a while now, you would have known that I am always this crazy.
Recently, I have been immersed into a NEW fandom. And that lucky fandom is.... SUPERNATURAL -plays music-
YES! Supernatural fandom, so those of you who are in that fandom and is reading this, HELLO!
Of course, since I ship practically every show I linger upon, I OF COURSE ship DESTIEL which is Castiel an Dean. I don't know how to feel about Wincest though, but I don't have anything against it so yay to that too!
But yes! Let me show you why I ship Destiel very hard( I even cried at one point, no joke yo)
Okay I am done.. urm... fangirling now. NOT!! But I guess this is an update for you guys so yayayayayayayya. Any ways, I Hope to update on this soon AGAIN so that I can share my feels with you guys!
ALSO IF YOU ARE PART OF ANY FANDOM OR/ AND IS A FANGIRL, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW THROUGH MY TWITTER OR TUMBLR OR EVEN COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW YOU AND LET'S BE FRIENDS. I AM NOT CREEPY , I PROMISE THIS! :)
Aishaxx
Sunday, 22 June 2014
WHY
So hello hello my wonderful people. Sorry for the mini break things were hectic but now it's still hectic #myhomeworkistillnotdoneatall
HAH anyways hi last week of freedom is tomorrow and actually it's going to be my most busiest week yet guys i'm not shitting you.
Like okay tomorrow is my full day leadership camp which is tres lame. And then tuesday is my outing with my beloved Yaz not lame tres cool and then WEDNESDAY is my last chance to complete my homework omfg. And then thursday and friday is drama rehearsal and then Saturday is my performance. I can't believe this guys. A performance on my birthday and i got the toughest and the lead role among all. Way to go...
But I guess we can't do much ..about it i mean. And today i am forced to sleep early and wake up early cause my stupid camp starts at 8 and so.... i just really cant think today guys i'm exhausted and i havent finish doing my plannings... its just mad retardedly horribly bad.
But here's an update and I will tell you guys anything interesting when it happens! And by that i HOPE i meet Michael Fassbender and we go for a date ;) A girl can dream !!
With Love xx
-Aisha
I will make this man mine someday -MUAUAAHAHHAHAHHAHA- okay sorry dont report me XD
HAH anyways hi last week of freedom is tomorrow and actually it's going to be my most busiest week yet guys i'm not shitting you.
Like okay tomorrow is my full day leadership camp which is tres lame. And then tuesday is my outing with my beloved Yaz not lame tres cool and then WEDNESDAY is my last chance to complete my homework omfg. And then thursday and friday is drama rehearsal and then Saturday is my performance. I can't believe this guys. A performance on my birthday and i got the toughest and the lead role among all. Way to go...
But I guess we can't do much ..about it i mean. And today i am forced to sleep early and wake up early cause my stupid camp starts at 8 and so.... i just really cant think today guys i'm exhausted and i havent finish doing my plannings... its just mad retardedly horribly bad.
But here's an update and I will tell you guys anything interesting when it happens! And by that i HOPE i meet Michael Fassbender and we go for a date ;) A girl can dream !!
With Love xx
-Aisha
Monday, 16 June 2014
Midnight Shows :) and Not Feeling So good :(
Hello there sweethearts! So it is currently 1:07 am or so what it says on my laptop here and I am up watching Sherlock! The BBC one of course... Well don't get me wrong, I'm actually re-watching it because I'm bored and even though I have homework pending I still choose this over anything else HAHAHA!
So currently the Blind Banker is playing and I kinda actually forgotten much about this episode so yea catching up if you might say so.
WatchUsLiveAndStuff didn't post anything today and yesterday. I'm so afraid that Kalel might have gotten offended by the comments about her diet and her so called complaining that she doesen't want to vlog for abit! NOOO! I need their vlogs, it cheers up my days.:(
Also in other related news , Germany is scoring and Portugal is lagging way behind. Ronaldo is upset tsk tsk tsk. If Michael was into the World Cup, he is gonna be rooting. I think hmm don't know much on that xD to be honest.
I'm like a script jumper or something just hoping to one to topic to another HAHAHA but sorry about that lovelies it's just that suddenly this past few days I have been feeling faint... like I went out just now to Starbucks to do some sketching and work and then suddenly i got this REALLY BAD headache and i cringed so bad I thought i might pass out!
I'm so worried that I might be sick or that there's something wrong with me argh! -cringes again-. I really want Benefit make up products guys like really. I love them too much and it hurts walking by the store and not getting anything from them. Okay sorry topic hoping again ... hehehe
Well that is all that my fingers can manage to type at this hour ;) maybe its just the fainting effect and feeling hella week argh. So take care my lovelies and I hope to blog soon!
With Lovexx
-Aisha
Huehuehuehuheuheuheuhuehuheuheheuheuheuheuheuheuheuheuheuehuehueheheh
So currently the Blind Banker is playing and I kinda actually forgotten much about this episode so yea catching up if you might say so.
WatchUsLiveAndStuff didn't post anything today and yesterday. I'm so afraid that Kalel might have gotten offended by the comments about her diet and her so called complaining that she doesen't want to vlog for abit! NOOO! I need their vlogs, it cheers up my days.:(
Also in other related news , Germany is scoring and Portugal is lagging way behind. Ronaldo is upset tsk tsk tsk. If Michael was into the World Cup, he is gonna be rooting. I think hmm don't know much on that xD to be honest.
I'm like a script jumper or something just hoping to one to topic to another HAHAHA but sorry about that lovelies it's just that suddenly this past few days I have been feeling faint... like I went out just now to Starbucks to do some sketching and work and then suddenly i got this REALLY BAD headache and i cringed so bad I thought i might pass out!
I'm so worried that I might be sick or that there's something wrong with me argh! -cringes again-. I really want Benefit make up products guys like really. I love them too much and it hurts walking by the store and not getting anything from them. Okay sorry topic hoping again ... hehehe
Well that is all that my fingers can manage to type at this hour ;) maybe its just the fainting effect and feeling hella week argh. So take care my lovelies and I hope to blog soon!
With Lovexx
-Aisha
Sunday, 15 June 2014
Wondering and Planning :) AS ALWAYS!
Hi guys! So since there is not much to do i decided hey why not blog? And here we are now! So i logged onto my laptop to see that google plus has notified me that various other people have commented on that video that WatchUsLiveAndStuff posted. You know , that guy who made a big fuss on her complaining that she has a broken laptop and all.
Look guys, I mean yea we all have it tough in our lives and its not all the same problem we face through. but as I said in the comment section to the guy's comment about his/ her dad has cancer and all i just want to say this. We all face problems. It's inevetible. Problems come and go and we sometimes have nothing to do about it. Further more, it's her vlog. And as a youtuber , the very thought of having to do something different every day is tiring enough. So regardless or not her problems are as big as yours my dearest person, they are STILL problems.
And being the nice people Anthony and Kalel are, they responded back in the most respectable way saying on how its not easy for them too and that to chin up and look for the best in life. SEE? Be nice to others. Always.
Enough about me going on that note AGAIN ( sorry if its bothering you guys i promise this is my last) , but Yea:) So now i'm sitting on mah bed just chilling, doing some planning as always :( And watching my candle burn and produce beautiful light against the picture of Michael Fassbender that is sitting nicely on my study desk :) That man is a heaven!
Oh well! I love him more than life it self ;)
With love,
-Aisha xx
Look guys, I mean yea we all have it tough in our lives and its not all the same problem we face through. but as I said in the comment section to the guy's comment about his/ her dad has cancer and all i just want to say this. We all face problems. It's inevetible. Problems come and go and we sometimes have nothing to do about it. Further more, it's her vlog. And as a youtuber , the very thought of having to do something different every day is tiring enough. So regardless or not her problems are as big as yours my dearest person, they are STILL problems.
And being the nice people Anthony and Kalel are, they responded back in the most respectable way saying on how its not easy for them too and that to chin up and look for the best in life. SEE? Be nice to others. Always.
Enough about me going on that note AGAIN ( sorry if its bothering you guys i promise this is my last) , but Yea:) So now i'm sitting on mah bed just chilling, doing some planning as always :( And watching my candle burn and produce beautiful light against the picture of Michael Fassbender that is sitting nicely on my study desk :) That man is a heaven!
With love,
-Aisha xx
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